Kids, Chaos, and Crumbs: Why Supermum is a Myth

Do you remember seeing a family laughing together, getting along, and thinking, 'One day, that's going to be my family!'?

Do you remember all the dreams and ideas you had about what your own family would be like?

And then you had kids... and the balloon popped.

So, what happened to that dream?

Simply put, that smiling family went home, started putting their kids to bed, and their overtired children began pushing their exhausted parents' buttons. You know the rest of the story… Real life isn’t made up of picture-perfect social media moments. Deep down, you know it, I know it, we all know it.

Raising children isn’t always smiles, giggles, cuddles, and fun times.

Raising kids is spending more energy trying to get your 10-year-old to put on her clothes than it would take to dress her yourself. It’s your 4-year-old pretending to need the toilet AGAIN at 8:00 PM when you put him to bed at 7 PM. It’s him still being awake at 8:30 PM because you can’t face the tantrum bedtime involves.

Raising kids is staring at a sink full of dishes that was empty two hours ago. It’s never knowing what the bottom of your laundry basket looks like. It’s finding the evidence that your son didn’t eat his lunch on the last day of school, only at the end of summer.

Being a mother is feeling so exhausted that all you want to do is sit and cry, but instead, you get up, put on a load of laundry, and make dinner.

If you’re nodding along, thinking, ‘I wish I could see more of the land of nod’, then stay with me.

Because your non-mum role needs attention too. Big time.

This is where YOU, the real you, outside of your ‘mum’ role, comes in.

You know when the safety video comes on during a flight and they tell you to place the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping your child? Do you remember why?

Because if you help your child before yourself, you might not have the chance to help yourself, and then no one can help you.

Motherhood works the same way.

No one can help you the way you can help yourself because no one knows what you need as well as you do.

Here are a few ideas of ways you can help yourself:

The magic of the word ‘NO

You have limited time and energy—where do you want to use it?  

Before saying yes to something, remember that when you say yes to something you don’t want to do, you’re ultimately saying no to something you do want to do.

Supermum doesn’t exist  

We all excel in different areas as mums. No mother is perfect at everything, alone.  

What tasks can you delegate? Is hiring help an option?  

Assigning age-appropriate chores to your kids will lighten your load while teaching them responsibility and the skills they’ll need as adults.

Make a date with yourself  

Plan something you love, just for you—read a book, watch a film, paint, or go on a solo coffee date. Doing things that make you happy is a great way to recharge.

Catch your Zzzzz

Take power naps during the day. Even a quick 10-minute nap can make a big difference in your energy and patience.

Lower the bar and laugh!

Your to-do list will never end. C’est la vie!  

There will always be more dishes, more laundry, more... more... more…

Lower your expectations and find humour in the chaos when you can. Seeing the funny side of daily challenges lightens the emotional load and helps keep things in perspective.

As long as you have kids at home, there will always be dishes in the sink, messy floors, bottomless laundry piles, and an ever-growing to-do list.  

By understanding and accepting that you are not just a mother but also your own person, you learn when to wear your 'mum hat' and when to wear your 'you hat'. Only you can decide which hat to wear and when—whether it's leaving the dishes in the sink to get a good night's sleep, or cancelling your 'me-time' because your child is sick. It’s about finding that balance and knowing when to switch hats, with self-awareness guiding the way.